Being A Man
How to be a man and men’s health have long been a passion of mine. I have had the unique experience of being a heterosexual man who is a Hairdresser. In that capacity, I have seen a lack of leadership and direction around what it means, and how to be a man. I see and feel the pain this has created for myself and others in my life. The pain of not showing up with my depth, my integrity, and my power creates devastation in my relationships.
Men’s health is more than a check up.
It certainly includes how to be a man that I love and respect. Being authentic in my power, presence, masculinity and depth is an important part of how to be a man and is an important part of my gift as man. Realizing this has transformed my life. Studying in Australia for many years, having a coach, training in the USA over the past three years and reconnecting with Spiritual Healing have all allowed for massive growth and transformation in my life. For that reason the confusion I once felt about how to be a man and what that looks like have fallen away.
I now see the ideas I had about how to be a man were controlling, destructive, violent, fear based and abusive. It is these ideas that permeate our society.
I see no clear path showing what it means or how to be a man. I see confused, ambiguous, unsure men directing and leading us. They’re not to blame. As a man, I acknowledge I have been lost and it’s time for a new way to emerge. For me, that starts with honouring the path I’ve walked. Therefore by looking at my successes and failures in the light of day, I allow new choices to emerge as I evolve and navigate an unseen path.
Interactions with Women.
How I am being a man can be seen in how I treat myself and others. This becomes clearer when I look at my relationship to women. How do I really experience a woman? I realised I can feel a woman through my body, touch her heart, in a way that honours her and myself. I feel more deeply connected to a woman when I offer all of myself to her and our relationship. To do this I love and honour her by being deeply present, having the courage to offer my integrity, clarity and truth. This is truly being a man with her.
I have worked closely, intimately and passionately with women in my time as a Hairdresser. In that capacity, I’ve seen the variety of colours and flavours of women. Without consciously knowing it, I was studying women. I was learning. I became aware of how the depths of so many women go unmet and how a lack of awareness creates devastation in relationships.
This can be changed.
I discovered solutions such as cultivating a willingness to inspect my behaviour, to be present to the feelings in my body, and to acknowledge what comes up. I developed an awareness of the dynamics and flow in how women communicate. There are many signals that, at first, I overlooked.
A woman often communicates from a place of feeling. A response to something she deems hurtful may be: “You’re an arsehole” when what she is really saying is: “When you communicate so abrasively, without consideration to the sensitivity that runs through my body, it hurts and is overwhelming” or “I feel like I lose you. I’m scared I’m losing my relationship, and everything I value and cherish ”
The nature of a woman’s passion, sensitivity and feeling is beyond what I know as a man. However, I know that my awareness of these parts of her allows me to understand her even more. When a woman is communicating from a place of intense feeling, she is doing her best to express all that is moving through her body in a split second. If I have behaved or spoken in a way that feels bad for her, she experiences me as an arsehole. And so that’s what she expresses to me.
When I know where my partner is coming from, and how she experiences what comes up, I can respond to the essence of her communication and not react to the content. Knowing this as a man totally changes our relationship.
My integrity in that moment is for clarity, purpose and direction. Hers is to express fully through her body what she is feeling. When the two come together the masculine purpose and direction can guide the feminine feeling and emotion and give clarity. The two of us then move forward in union, each fulfilling different roles, giving meaning and depth to our love.
This realisation changed my world.
Now, I can more clearly navigate my way through the stormy waters of my life and relationships. It’s not food or game I desire to hunt, but consciousness, awareness, and love – recognised and felt through my body. This is how I be a man today. The hundreds of years my ancestors have spent honing their skills and instincts, I can reignite in the hunt for deeper love, deeper knowing and greater presence. The key to this is cultivating my ability to communicate, to embody my feelings, be vulnerable, fearlessly be afraid and lovingly open myself to be seen.
This is an easily overlooked part of Men’s health.
To communicate freely as a man means to feel into my body and offer my truth. No holding back. This is a key point in how to be a man. A woman feels this long before I’m aware of it. When I start talking and my words don’t line up with what she feels in my body, she loses trust.
Chances are she will create chaos to tear apart the walls of deceit that hide me from truth. This is her gift to me. My capacity for the expression of truth determines my value as a man. When I communicate truth, I deepen in knowledge, power and presence and establish trust. That is my gift to her. The unity is cyclic.
Imagine a world where the depth, power and strength of love as men is present in the world. I stand for the full power of masculine love, strength and integrity flourishing in the world. It starts for me right here, right now.
With Love Rod..