What are men looking for from women?


I often get asked by women, “what are men looking for from women around relationships & sex”.

The truth is there’s quite a variety of things that are important to men, but some more than others serve both partners, even if they are unaware of them.

One of the most valuable things a woman can do is learn to animate the flow of LOVE through her body. Which brings forward some questions, one is “What does this even mean?”

It literally means to be emotionally free and current, that a woman is able to be in the present moment with her feelings. This addresses the scenarios where past hurts come forward and become destructive in the relationship. 

Step 1 – ALLOW the flow of feelings, emotions, vitality and love as it moves through you 

Step 2 – Allow that to be seen, felt and heard through your body with full expression, giving yourself permission to make sounds and move your body uncensored. 

Men often talk about variety, wanting different experiences, different women, and different flavours of feminine expression, this is often at odds with a woman’s desire for commitment.

The only way I know how to give a woman an idea of how this feels in a man’s body is this – imagine walking into a place filled with your favourite foods, I mean all of them, everywhere you can see. Now you’re going to pick one food – only one! Now imagine eating that every meal, every day for the rest of your life!

Terrifying thought isn’t it!  That is the feeling in a man’s body when he considers committing to a relationship. He is faced with the reality of giving up all the other flavours for one woman. 

Well here’s some good news! A man’s craving for variety in women, often expressed through sexual experimentation, triumphs and conquests at its lowest level, is really a desire from him to feel ALL of you – his chosen woman. 

How good does that sound? Permission to be all the flavours, feelings and emotions moving through you!

Many men can’t and won’t be able to handle that, at the beginning. But that is what he truly desires. The reason he may struggle initially is that is he has never trained, or developed the capacity to hold space for these feelings – his own or those of women. Like many of us he has been trained to shut women’s emotions down – to express that they are too much, not ok, irrational and don’t make sense. Whilst on the surface this seems true, and even women have been convinced of this over the years. The truth is, it’s not too much, you’re not too much, your feelings aren’t too much. They are wanted and desperately needed. 

A good woman can change a man’s life.

Day to day, year after year inspiring him to greatness. Men desperately need this, now more than ever. A woman who is in touch with her feelings, and connected to her intuition are of immense value to a man and will support him to be a greater man than he could ever be without her. A woman’s feminine nature expressed through feelings and intuition, supports a man to cultivate clarity, enables him to learn to navigate decisively and to trust himself and his capacity for creating direction. 

Something profound also happens for women, when they get access to this part of themselves. Life opens up to you, it opens doors and pathways you never knew were there. More vitality, radiance, power, a woman becomes larger than life when she is connected to the flow of love and can move that through her body. It uplifts whole rooms of people. A woman in a great mood or even a foul mood will inspire people to action, quickly.

Either way a radiant glowing woman will stop whole work sites just with her presence, just being there, being herself. This dynamic of women desiring to be seen and men desiring to witness is a powerful part of polarity.( More on this in a future blog) As we become more aware though we can go much deeper than this surface play. 

When a woman connects with the flow of love and can move that through her body, a man can begin to see her heart and to respond to that. To see what her heart really desires, longs for and needs. The flow of love, the animation of your emotions, expressed through your body means he can see all of you and can use that TO NAVIGATE YOUR HEART!

So how do we get there? Well quite simply come along to a workshop or retreat. If you want to start at home now, learn to connect to your pleasure. Pleasure is a pathway that supports a woman to open her heart, to connect to how she feels in a way that nourishes her, and restores the vitality and radiance that wants to shine through her.

The next essential key is movement, learning to move in a way that expresses and shows how you feel is a powerful way to express emotion. Even better is a man’s nervous system can process this. Your movement, facial expressions and sounds are PROFOUNDLY more powerful than your words. This is information his nervous system can process, why is this bit important? Because if he can’t process it nothing changes.

Now this is simplified to make it accessible and easy to digest, but 1 week of movement and pleasure practices is enough to change the direction of your life, love and intimacy permanently. For the change to be lasting you need to maintain daily practice. I have seen the change this has made in my partner, my responses to her and our relationship. 

If Men and Women commit to daily practices their relationships can be completely new within a month.


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